People are shocked when they learn how bad of an electrician I am.
Why did the mechanic go on vacation?
He was tired and just wanted a brake.
Why did the pro basketball player get fired?
He was dribbling all over the court.
What do a baseball pitcher and a chef have in common?
The batter.
Why did the janitor at a software development company get fired?
He broke the Windows.
Come back soon for more!
Jokes
What can jump higher than a house?
Anything. Houses can't jump.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
How many times can you subtract 2 from 24?
Only once. 24-2=22, not 24
Six robbers rode in a Ford for over 50 miles to their hideout. The trip took exactly one hour, yet no one
in the car noticed they had a flat tire all this time. How was that possible?
The spare tire was flat.
A woman gave a beggar two dollars. The woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's
brother. What is their relationship?
The beggar is a woman, so they are sisters.
How did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
It wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
It wanted to get to the other tide.
Why did the chicken cross the amusement park?
It wanted to get to the other ride.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a truck?
A monster truck
Riddles
You don't need to yell to talk to your friends
Just push my button and talk till the end
The end is when my battery dies
I'll beep at you so you're not surprised.
A walkie-talkie
Jokes with pictures
How can you intercalate (full/empty/full/empty) these six glasses by moving only one of them?
Dump the contents of the second cup into the 5th cup, then put the 2nd cup back into its original position.
A father had a gold horse shoe. He wanted to divide it in six parts to give one to each of his six sons. He
could only make two straight cuts. He figured it out and succeeded, although his sons got a different part
size each. How did he do it?
